Marital Depression & How to avoid it

vyomkesh's picture

Weddings are considered the most special events that will take place in anyone�s life. As true as that is, it is also a fact that many people find themselves suffering from marital depression soon after the wedding and honeymoon takes place. Though this may be common, it is still something the majority of people cannot understand or are even aware of.

So what is marital depression and what are the responsible reasons behind it? Though marital depression can carry many different reasons behind, there is one common reason that almost every single person shares, and that reason is disorganization. This means that most people do not organize, as a couple, what will take place after the wedding and honeymoon pass through. Both men and women can suffer from marital depression, but it is more common in women, for the reason that women become more deeply involved in making their whole wedding experience �perfect�. From the beginning of their relationship, women have a tendency to start creating a fantasy world in their minds of how they would like their lives to be with their partners. It is a fantasy they plan out so detailed and carefully, that it actually becomes a subconscious reality to them, setting them for marital depression ahead.

When most people think of marriage, they mostly think about the type of wedding celebration they would like to have, and where they would like to experience their honeymoon. It usually stops here, which is why many disappointments come to surface later. Even though a couple may have invested many years together before deciding to take that big step into marriage, it still requires a lot of planning, teamwork and agreements on many things regarding how things will be handled once they get settled into their new marriage together. One fantasy you must get out of your head is that your marriage will be like one big romantic date where things will always run smoothly without any problems. The truth is, as wonderful as marriage really can be; it also carries its share of challenges and obstacles. The truth is, whether you want to hear it or not, your marriage will not be picture perfect all the time. There will be times you and your spouse will disagree and find yourselves facing

Your marriage may suffer from occasional problems, but it does not need to end in marital depression or unsolved conflicts. The key to maintaining a healthy yet realistic marriage is to use direct communication before and after your wedding takes place. Do not make the wedding ceremony and honeymoon the most important priority to you. Instead of focusing too much on the wedding and honeymoon, focus on preparing your marriage. Together with your partner, discuss what you will do once you come home from the honeymoon, and what patterns you plan to follow and what your expectations from marriage. This will avoid any misunderstandings or unpleasant surprises down the road. It is also essential to keep in mind, that maintaining the romance and sexual department is just as important as it was before you got married. Continue to go out on dates and plan special activities together, as well as being occasionally spontaneous.

Accepting that married life is not a fairytale book that takes its own perfect course will keep you from getting marital depression. Accept the fact that although you may be life partners, you are still individuals who will think and feel differently at times- and it does not mean that you are incompatible, just human beings with your own beliefs and personalities. Practicing is not a bad idea either. For instance, create a situation where you feel things are not going so great and where you feel things are not picture perfect- and where you and your partner are disagreeing. Once you have done that, come up with several methods on how you could handle such situations if they were to come to surface. By becoming familiar with conflicts ahead of time and practicing how you would handle them, you will prepare yourself with the knowledge and strength on accepting the realities of marriages, and how to deal with those realities when they come to you, so you can live a healthy and depression-free marriage together.

courtesy: http://www.love-sessions.com/marital_depression2.htm

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